Hardship has a spiritual component. Insert prayer.

We all know that in this life, shit happens. Its unavoidable and we don't know what lies beyond the horizon. Question is, will it rock our faith in God or are we prepared?

The South Coast. Image: Julian Carter

In the book of John, chapter 18, Jesus is arrested and sent for interrogation to the Jewish high priest. Thus begins the pointy end of his ministry. Knowing this was coming (verse 4), what did Jesus do? He prayed. John records a prayer Jesus prayed for himself, his followers at the time and everyone who would believe in him in the future. For our unity, that we would be aligned with him in God.

The book of Luke records Jesus pouring out his stress to God (chapter 22, verse 44) in the place where he often went to pray, a mountain of olives. He asks that God might prevent him from having to go through torture on a cross and banishment from his beloved Father - into Hell itself. But Jesus finishes the prayer asking what God wants him to do and reasserting that he will go along with whatever God decides (v. 42b).

Jesus' disciples were exhausted from grief (v. 45) - who wouldn't be if their mentor and whom they believed to be God said he was leaving them (v. 20) and that they would even desert him (John ch. 16 v. 32)? But this trial, this hard time, was going ahead and the disciples needed to prepare for it. How? "Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation" (Luke 22:16). But it was too late because as Jesus was still speaking an armed crowd moved in to take Jesus.

During the hours that followed Jesus stuck to his purpose with strength and poise. His disciples scattered and one denied knowing him (see John 18 or Luke 22). They buckled, not having drawn from the wellspring of enabling that is in God.

I wonder what I would have done. Even if I'd prayed in that olive grove, would my heart and head have been able to stay open to God's empowering? We are encouraged by the teacher Paul in letters he wrote to the early church to pray continuously (1 Thessalonians 5:17), on all occasions (Ephesians 6:18), so that we might stay alert. Its not talking about some kind of anxious plea, waiting in hyper-vigilant fear for the next knock. The prayer Paul exhorts us to involves cultivating an attitude of cheerful gratitude throughout our lives (1Thessalonians 5:16-18). And also to feel strong and be strong because we are aligning ourselves with our maker and applying what he offers us: truth, righteousness, peace, faith and salvation (1 Thessalonians 5).

Sometimes we just have to face hardship; this is the world we live in. Sometimes God spares us from it and sometimes he allows us to go through it. I still don't know why God has allowed me to experience infertility but do I want to waste my life distracted and exhausted by grief? I know God loves me and he blesses me in countless ways, just not this one. So my prayer isn't always about what I want. It is a lot of the time, and that's OK too, but I also pray that my thoughts, desires and actions will be aligned with what God wants for me. That he will enable me to not only not buckle but to be alert to him, his blessings and what he wants me to do. And when I'm feeling confident, that I'll still draw from the well of his enabling because it brings me closer to God in relationship with him and that is so much sweeter than the satisfaction of being able to say I did it on my own.

A letter to my God.

Dear Jesus, 

Thank you that you are near, always accessible. Thank you for the life coach that is you speaking in Scripture and the Holy Spirit living in me.

Help me to pray continuously as is practicable. I can get stuck in my discouragement at life's misadventures and forget the resources I have to draw on. Please remind me that this is not my life but yours to live through me. Let people "see" you in the way I live this life you have given me.

Help me to stay cheerful, trusting, hopeful and strong. Cultivate this habit of prayer in me and thank you for your example of standing firm amidst the storm.

With love and gratitude,

Sally 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Topsy Turvy World

The joyous, riotous overflow of splashing water. L by French artist Henri Guérin. R by Indian artisan Raju & myself.

Secularists* don't own society. They just think they do and are being bossy about it. Christians don't own society either, much as some wished they did; nor do people of any religion. We all live in the Kingdom of God, who owns us. So don't be intimidated by those who shout too loudly (whether religious or secular). But listen to your soul's cry for satiation.

Look well at my handpicked servant;
    I love him so much, take such delight in him.
I’ve placed my Spirit on him;
    he’ll decree justice to the nations.
But he won’t yell, won’t raise his voice;
    there’ll be no commotion in the streets.
He won’t walk over anyone’s feelings,
    won’t push you into a corner.
Before you know it, his justice will triumph;
    the mere sound of his name will signal hope, even
    among far-off unbelievers.

(God the Father speaking of Jesus; originally spoken through Isaiah the prophet. Matthew 12:15-21 The Message)

“Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again. 14 But no one who drinks the water I give will ever be thirsty again. The water I give is like a flowing fountain that gives eternal life."

(Jesus speaking to a woman at a well. John 4:13-14 CEV)

* Referring to non-religious people. Used in a general sense and doesn't refer to the specific adherence to state an church separation.

faith and fashion

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for... All these people [Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham] were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead they were looking for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.                                                                                                         - Hebrews 11:1, 13-16 

Last week I received an offer from Ultimo TAFE Fashion Design Studio to study their diploma course. It is like a distant dream that I dare not entertain - one of those 'illegal' thoughts we tell ourselves to push down and ignore - except it kept on pushing upwards into my consciousness and now it is a reality. Nineteen years of pushing can have that effect.  When I was finishing school I had a vague idea to study fashion design but the conventional world around me - which I swallowed - steered me into a more academic pursuit. Also I had the unspoken erroneous belief from the church I grew up in that the Christians in God's inner circle were missionaries. I knew myself well enough to realise I wouldn't cut it serving in Africa, and having survivor guilt for not being poor myself, I threw myself into social justice and a career in the non-government sector - perhaps hoping that God would approve of that. Except every new position felt like a stepping stone to something more fulfilling, a better match for my skills and interests. I enjoyed my studies and enjoy aspects of my work; I've achieved a lot of good things and honed many skills in my career, but I never have found a job I can say I really love.

Back in 1993 fashion design did not seem like an option; I was scared that it would steer me away from God. In high school I did not have creative people around me with the wisdom to show me how I can authentically serve God with my gifts and abilities whatever they happen to be. That God likes fashion too. I mean, just look at the myriad variety of flowers he put on this earth. Aesthetic beauty for its own sake is a value God invented! 

Now I am on the edge of the cliff of possibility and my loved ones are saying "jump!" and I am terrified. I am about to indulge my passion, possibly even my Element, and it is testing the sense of security I have in God: that I'm OK, acceptable, that he will keep using me to spread his love and faith around. But I realise that what this means is that a corner of me (actually, probably a rather large chunk if I'm really honest) still believes I can earn God's approval. Yes yes, I am an evangelical protestant, I know that it is only by believing in Jesus Christ's death and resurrection that I get a 100% guaranteed free pass into Heaven. But I'd like a crown. I want accolades, honourary inner circle missionary status, for God and I to be close.

God just wants me to enjoy him, to know his love for me, and I get stuck on wanting brownie points.

But the absolutely beautiful, lovely thing about God is that he is using a renaissance in my life to bring me into a fuller understanding of his acceptance and intimate love for me. I am already in his inner circle, as is every Christian person. Doing fashion design changes nothing. I even have an inkling that being more authentically engaged in doing something I love will make me a more effective worker for God's agenda too. Because with God, our serving has to start with freedom. I can't serve to gain anything. Christ has already given it all to me freely. We only serve God when our motivation is a pouring out of thankfulness for the wonderful ways in which he loves us. Any other motivation is empty, only serving an inner drivenness for some notion of success that never satisfies. 

Which brings me to the passage. The Fathers of Israel knew about stepping into the unknown. Particularly Abraham; God gave him a promise of land and a great nation of people that would come from him. Then asked him to leave his comfort zone of home and family and be led by God. Their family empire consisted of one son only by the time they died and they remained nomads in another's land. Why did Abraham or the other ancients not give up? Faith. Their motivation for obeying the tasks God had set for them and persisting in relationship with him was an expectation that they would receive  good things that God had promised. On their death bed they did not renounce God for not having yet received his promises. Because, as the passage of Hebrews explains, they knew that God's promises of land and nation were more than temporal. They had the right focus, and it was long distance. They served out of thankful faith in what was to come. 

The example of Abraham is also a reminder to me of what my focus in life needs to be. No matter what I do, enjoy, achieve in this life, I am looking forward to the realisation of God's promise in the next life. This one is temporal, the one to come will last forever. 

I love my life; there are so many good things in it, so many opportunities to explore and things to discover. So much beauty, so much to be fascinated by. Everything good and lovely points to the source of beauty - God - and yet is only a shadow of the gloriously fabulous life, land and citizenship we will enjoy with unfettered access to God in Heaven. So when I am enjoying life, pursuing my passions and talents, when I am captivated by beauty, let its purpose be as a prompt, reminding me that this is only a shadow of the joyous life which awaits. When I enter it, God will welcome me with open arms and embrace me. In that moment I will finally be complete, satisfied, fulfilled. In that moment I will know rapture and jubilation for the first time, like I've never experienced them, as I take my very first breath of perfection.

And let this focus, this joyful anticipation of receiving all God has promised, motivate me to desire God more and more, to open more of my heart to him and know and enjoy him more. And let not any temporal success steer me from this focus, but out of thankfullness let me use every situation I find myself in to serve the One who blessed me with it. Amen.